Los Angeles, February 17 – Filmmaker Chloe Zhao has achieved significant success in the film industry, directing projects like Nomadland and Eternals, but she says it has come at a cost.
Speaking to Sir Sam Mendes at a screening in London, the 43-year-old filmmaker said: "It does come at a price. And only now, in my 40s, have I come to terms with that, to say, 'That's okay.' Before, I used to hate that, and I would read as many self-help books as possible and think, 'I must fix this!' But achieving success requires sacrifice. You can't transform without letting something go.
"There's a certain kind of life that I might have to give up. Certain things that I grew up watching in movies, and I think, 'Oh, I wish I had that. It seems so safe and comfortable.' But it won't be like that."
Zhao feels it's difficult to balance a successful career with a happy family life, according to femalefirst.co.uk.
The director said: "I used to think that you could have it all. You know, that you could be happy all the time. I hate winter – things die and decompose. But now I realize, no, you have to let something go. And as we were talking about earlier, and in the film, we live in a culture that hasn't taught us how to let go of things and how to accept change.
"So it feels like the shame – there's something wrong with me that I can't make certain parts of my life work, you know, like, why don't I have this? Why don't I have that? You know, I don't have children. I really want to, but I started to wonder if that was (ever) going to happen."
The filmmaker had earlier expressed her feeling like an "outsider".
The director told The Talks: "Wherever I go, I am drawn to outsiders because I am one myself. And I feel like an outsider almost wherever I go.
"Loneliness is a big word for me. There is a difference between loneliness and solitude, for me personally. I’ve also done a lot of traveling alone in my car when I was making my first two films."
She also enjoys the challenge of making films about people living on the fringes of society.
She said: "If I were living in China or the UK, I would be drawn to the people who live in the peripheral society in those places, too. But in America, there has definitely been a trend of minimalist living, decluttering, and tiny homes… All of us are feeling less enamored with the pressure of a capitalist economy or consumer-driven economy.
"We all felt a bit tired because we realized it doesn't necessarily make us happy. We are more miserable because our expectations for happiness come from when your expectations and reality meet each other, but a capitalist society has to keep consuming if it wants to survive."